An Odd Couple Indeed
by Laburnum Steelfang
Summary: Written for a Disney prompt meme; crossover, het, Alice in Wonderland/Pinocchio. Oneshot.


**Written for a prompt on the Disney Kink Meme; someone wanted a little innocent fluff between Alice and Pinocchio. Was fun to write. Hope you enjoy.**

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"Oh goodness, what next?" Alice jumped and clasped her hands to the front of her pinafore as she heard a shout from somewhere nearby. It sounded like it was getting closer. She wondered whether to run, but the shout came again; it sounded like another child, this one a little boy.

"Jiminy? Jiminy Cricket!" This cryptic shout was followed by a piercing whistle.

Alice remained tense, ready to flee; in this strange world, something sounding like a child might not mean it wasn't dangerous. But he sounded so lost and sad ... She waited on the path until the shouter emerged from between the trees of the Tulgey Wood. It was indeed a little boy, dressed in lederhosen and a feathered cap. He was whistling, as if calling a dog.

"H-hello?" Alice asked nervously, hoping against hope that she may have found a normal person in Wonderland. The boy turned, and that hope was dashed when she saw his face. He was made of wood; his arms and legs were jointed with screws, his eyes were glass, and his head spun neatly on his neck. His face was carved out of one piece of wood, with no joints for his jaw, and his eyebrows were only painted on, but somehow his mouth and eyebrows still moved into an expression of surprise.

Before she could stop herself, Alice shrieked with fright. The boy ... no, puppet ... backed away, holding up his hands.

"Eek! I'm sorry, ma'am!" he yelped. "I didn't see you." He raised his cap politely. Alice calmed down a little. A boy made of wood wasn't that strange compared to some of the other things in Wonderland, and he seemed harmless enough.

"Ah ... oh, where are my manners? My sister would be shocked ..." Alice curtseyed neatly, then proffered her right hand. "How do you do, sir? My name is Alice, and I am most pleased to make your acquaintance."

To Alice's surprise, the boy shook her hand instead of kissing it, as she'd expected. "Pleased to meet you too. I'm Pinocchio. Um, if it's not too much trouble, can I ask if you've seen my conscience?"

"Excuse me?" Alice asked, thinking she must have misunderstood. She liked this boy, though; he was a little rough around the edges (in the metaphorical sense; the craftsmanship of his wooden body looked excellent even to Alice's untrained eye, leaving no rough spots or splinters she could see) but he was pleasant enough. She could overlook his odd physiology. After the strangeness of Wonderland, he seemed positively normal.

"My conscience. His name's Jiminy Cricket, and he's about this big," the boy said, holding his white-gloved hands about an inch apart. "He's green and he has a tall hat?"

"Oh, I'm afraid not, Mr Pinocchio," Alice said. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll turn up."

Pinocchio sighed and kicked at the ground. "I can't lose him, he's my conscience! He's supposed to help me when I'm in trouble, and I'm definitely in trouble now! I wanna go home!"

Alice held out her handkerchief. He took it and twisted his fingers in it awkwardly. "Wait, 'home'?" she asked. "You don't live in Wonderland?"

"No, Miss Alice. Do you?"

"Indeed not, I am English!" Alice said, drawing herself up proudly as she'd seen the ladies back home do. "I don't suppose you might know the way home from here?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Alice, but I don't know," Pinocchio said, shaking his head in the odd swiveling motion common to marionettes. "I was hoping Jiminy would know when I found him. Or maybe he could help me call the Blue Fairy again ..."

"The Blue Fairy?"

"Yeah, she's the one who brought me to life! She says if I'm good one day she'll make me into a real boy," Pinocchio sighed wistfully. "She's very pretty, she has long blonde hair and a blue dress ... actually she looks a little like you."

"Oh, stop!" Alice giggled. Pinocchio smiled, and she was sure he was blushing a little, even though he presumably had no blood. "Well, I suppose the best thing to do is go looking for this friend of yours. Where did you last see him?"

"Somewhere back that way," Pinocchio said, gesturing along the path behind him. "Would you mind coming with me?"

"Of course I'll come with you!" Alice agreed, taking the puppet boy's hand. He smiled bashfully and gave her unused handkerchief back; she took it with her other hand and tucked it back into her pinafore pocket. "It's so nice to meet someone here who isn't quite so strange."

Pinocchio blinked. "You don't think I'm strange?"

"Well, a little. But it's not in a bad way at all."

"Aw, thank you!"

The pair walked off down the path, chatting quietly to break the eerie silence of the wood.

"I'll be very glad to get home. I think I shall apologise to my sister for not listening to her lessons. Then I shall apologise to my cat for leaving her behind."

"Oh, you have a cat? My father has a kitten too, and a fish. I hope they're alright ..."

The flowers and trees turned and the animals emerged from their burrows to watch the pair walk into the depths of the wood. An odd couple indeed, but by the standards of Wonderland, not that odd.


End file.
